Clinical Trials

LMP-3695, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

I'm not sure if any one has conducted clinical trials on oneself, but I'm doing it now. For one week I'm consciously consuming my food, bite by bite, visualizing it given me power, strength healing. When I eat magnesium rich foods (like eggs and millet) - I feel and visualize those nutrients generating a HUGE factory of red blood cells. Salmon... I visualize and FEEL it energizing my muscles, repairing and making them stronger.

So far, today's ride I was STRONG. I made it 20 meters further on my hill climb effort with power thresholds not seen before.

Again, I post this with warning, I am in clinical trials... but I also take my probiotics and feel it killing ANY virus, bug, germ, etc - it is my HUMAN SHIELD (read shield from flu). I do think conscious medicine (with the right foods for you to FEEL it) is the FUTURE for our survival and THRIVAL.

Vance Creek Monuments

Vance Creek 2009, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

Vance Creek Road race is in a rather odd location. Its located in Elma, WA, which is southwest of Olympia (our state's capital). It's the site of where US tax payers fed $96 million into a concrete landscape for some nuclear power plants. The project ran out of cash at the same time public sentiment waned... so now its the site of weeds, decomposing concrete parking lots, towering concrete forms AND an annual bike race. Its rather eerie, and it remains here standing as it would cost way too much to demo.

I think about the presence of these monuments on the landscape. It symbolizes the erroneous notion of progress - thinking such things can make our lives easier - when really they make our lives enormously complex and in many cases damaging. I thought about the cell phone. How it becomes so convenient for us to do 20 things now at once (including the ability to tweet when I'm at a stop light). How we can be late and and just text ahead. How we can blame our missed appointment on it not being in our calendar. Sometimes I think if I just stayed home, tilled my yard, canned my foods, grew my daily, weekly and year sustenance... life would be so simple. AND giving up blogging would probably get me to bed a hell of a lot earlier.

Good night.

Dead End?

Sequim03.22.09, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

Today was another step in a journey. I'm fascinated by what I'm pulling in to me, what is drawn to me, my spaces. There is good energy in my world right now; amazing really.

Today I strolled to the top of Phinney Ridge to meet a new contact that runs a PR firm in Seattle at Herkimer Coffee (hip joint). We connected right away, but nothing about business. Suddenly, I found myself talking about self awareness - after we approached the topic of our current state of the world... and will IT really change after this new economic reality/shift we face. I thought so... but only because those that don't change, leave the gene pool and float in another/separate reality (kinda out there, but not really).

I recall what caused my own awareness and wondered how much of the world will/has reached theirs; FOR ME.... it was sudden AND under the notion of soul survival. I tell my story of awakening here, briefly:

4 years ago... I had been terminated from a job, position, career that I mistook as part of my core being. This position was ripped from me like a close, close friend. This job had defined me for two years (maybe longer as I transferred prior years of work into this job - as the culmination of a career). Then in the span of 10-15 minutes, a narcissistic, abusive assassin (or so I thought) shot me in side (like a prisoner in front of a firing squad) leaving me for dead.

I dragged myself home.
I crawled in bed with the weight of the world suffocating me.
I stayed still in bed for over 14 hours.
The next day, awakened by light; AND
the sound of a small bird perilously crashing into my window;
once;
twice;
three times...
again and again.
It was odd enough for me to pull myself to the window to get a glimse.
This bird was throwing itself into the glass over and over again.
I wondered...
what is it doing?
How could it, why would it continue to crash into my window?
Doesn't it know its hurting/killing itself?
Feathers falling to the earth at each strike;
Beak slamming into the glass;
Finally looking up I saw its nest in the tree and realized it was attacking its reflection in the window.

Wow, I thought.... its hurting itself each time....
FOR what?
My God, its killing itself with its own fear.

It was at this VERY moment I realized...
We alone are our own worst enemy.
We alone kill ourselves, drown ourselves with unfounded fear.
Release it. Stop creating pain!

I then drove down to Patagonia Arizona.
Chilled and meditated for 4 days.
I awoke.

Amazingly.... that assassin, was my savior.
Interesting how a dead end, suddenly becomes the beginning.

Stage Racin'

walla walla 2009, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

This past weekend was my SECOND stage race of the season. We had a grand showing of our finest teammates (those that are good on AND off the bike). We rented a quaint little house in the downtown as our base. The joint was full.

Like no other year, I'm enjoying my bike race community. We are a group of authentic, real people that enjoy riding our bike and living to tell about it. It has added another unexpected dimension to my life that is unexpected. Because we get time to laugh, suffer, lament and hang together during a stage race... these events seem to be the most desirable form of racing for me this season.

Just like life (again)... the journey is far richer than the actual event we take part in. I enjoy the process as much and if not more than the race themselves (except reaching the 1K sign in a grueling event - now that always seems to be the MOST joyful of all).

Drooling

Paul, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

Monday means 2 hour massage with drool, I mean Drew. We have a strong energetic, healing connection. He senses things about what I need (or my body needs), my body knows it... and it lets go, like it never has permitted itself to do. Drew has healed me in so many ways... physical, emotional and spiritual.

Here is my story about tonight's session:

Drew has an iPod.
He has several playlists of cool tunes (mind you he is a muscian and has played for some noteworthy bands).
One playlist (that he was playing) has over 300 songs.

There are several songs that I like of his...
ODDLY, when I'm there (and he always has it on random) I seek to hear TWO songs.

The first is a song by Sigur Ros called Svefn-G-Englar with a sonar sounding ping that is absolutely delicioius. And the second song is Imagine by John Lenon.

So tonight, Sigur came on when he was working my shoulders and back (the concentration of all my stress this week). Drew then said...
"gosh that is so weird, my iPod must like you."
I ask, "why is that?"
he said, "I go for days without hearing this song... then when you are here is always seems to play."
I said, "and you have it on random?"
he said, "yes."
I said, "well there is one more song I'd like to hear today... I'll will it to happen."

Then as Drew moved to my most needed portion of my body my neck and head, I started to feel John singing the song to heal my head, the world, its people... as I just imagined his patient youthful voice wringing those words from his soul.

THEN, the song started to play on Drew's iPod.
My friends, we can make anything happen around us; as long as its for the good of ourselves and the world around us. Just imagine, imagine all the people.

On Pain (a sensation)

LP Crit, originally uploaded by lmpicard.

This past weekend I did a very big stage race. I learned a lot about pain, and although I can tolerate a bunch of it, I chose this weekend not to experience too much of it. I watched a team mate suffering with flu symptoms just torture herself. It was amazing. She dug so deep as if her life depended on staying high up in the pack.

For me....

Sunday I woke to the feeling that I knew I didn't want to work very hard. (that was in my soul). I guess because I was sitting in 24th place (not 4th or even 20th), I certainly didn't have a good show the first two days... so my soul said, "have fun, 'cause you don't need to work too hard." Well... as much fun as 60 miles with 6K feet of climbing can be.

What is interesting about bike racing is that you must choose pain. But pain must be worth it - however you define the value (and to a bike racer this can be a personal thing). To be successful, you also must put your mind aside and realize that it's not pain, but just a sensation and its ONLY our mind in that tells us it is not right. What if we didn't place any judgement on that sensation? What if we didn't place judgement on any "negative feeling" sensation we encountered in life... wouldn't life be more tolerable? Wouldn't in the end you'd see victory in anything we encounter as we move from sensation to sensation? I guess life would be sensational?

I wonder.
I think I shall inflict more sensations this weekend.
Join me?